Top 20 Reasons I Go Hard With The Obama's, The Biden's, & The DNC!

Ga-ree-tings one and all! I know that it has been a NICE little minute since I last wrote, but have no fear I am here ;) As with many of you, I too have been glued to CNN and C-Span this week to watch the Democratic National Convention in Denver. As the convention comes to close, I would like to offer my top 20 reasons of why I support the Obama's, the Biden's, & the DNC.

Enjoy!

20. The party is being unified onxw again!

19. I've never been able to watch the same channel for 5-6 hours straight for almost an entire week!

18. Barack is the change I want to see in this world.

17. The music at the convention has been WONDERMUS!

16. White people grooving to Earth, Wind & Fire cracks me up because they be GETTING it! (Yes, incorrect English!)

15. Little kids are fascinated with Barack & his stance on world issues (I know Royce is) and that makes me happy!

14. Joe Biden is a humble & qualified VP http://http://www.usnews.com/articles/news/campaign-2008/2008/08/23/what-you-didnt-know-about-joe-biden.html

13. Those in attendance @ the DNC talk during everything, unless it's somebody important! lol

12. The stylists for the Obama's & Biden's are BOMB.COM!

11. Barack said "Mama Biden"...nuff said! ((you down with OPP?!))

10. Myself or someone else needs to institute a 2 piece MAX 'nalia rule! You cannot wear a straw hat with 5-8 buttons, a customized T-shirt, suspenders, buttons, stickers, a belt, socks, a lanyard, a bag AND a sign! MA'AM...SIR! It's just TOO MUCH!!! And if you decide to do a customized glitter hat with feathers and such, you can only wear black from the neck down with nothing else on!

9. Michelle isn't afraid to show emotion.

8. I love the fact that she seems like my auntie or my sister/friend...just really relatable.

7. And she's SUCH a classy woman!

6. Sasha looks bad as hell, but that's completely normal. She's 7! What do we expect?!

5. Malia looks like a bookworm...presh!

4. Michelle looks like she doesn't mind breaking her foot off into those kids asses when needed!

3. Barack's the typical dad who has daughters...he doesn't step in until it's REALLY bad.

2. They have publically rejuvinated committed Black love and relationships!

AND LASTLY...

1. MICHELLE WRAPS HER HAIR AT NIGHT JUST LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Haven't Figured This One Out...

Long time...NO TALK! I know. Today's question comes from a reader and she really wants some responses back. Hopefully this can create some good convo!!!


So, what does it take for a guy to have a sexual relationship with a girl? On what level does he have to be attracted to her? And how does it differ for females?

I Know This May Seem Coincidental & Such...

I haven't written in SO long...mainly because I didn't have anything to say. No questions...no thoughts...nothing. Very much just blah about a lot of things. Since the last time I wrote, much of my confusion has been erased ::praise Jeru:: Though it's had to knock me up against my head a few times, I'm convinced "When people show you who they are the first time, believe them." I've also realized that whenever I'm confused about a situtation, if I just sit back, it all figures itself out. And the answer is very plainly written. I mean people who I just talk to every blue moon have been hitting me up and just sharing life stories and experiences and speaking MUCH needed truth. So I'm just gonna say that I'm happy where I am. No particular reason, person, or situation, but I'm happy. Life's good...I'm good.

Now I titled this piece, "I Know This May Seem Coincidental & Such..." because the two questions I have may seem like they're stemmed from CNN's Black in America special. However, I didn't get a chance to catch the entire thing. So, these two questions have been circulating around me and some brotherfriends & sisterfriends of mine for a few weeks and I kept forgetting to put them up here. But last night's special did remind me to make a written note to talk about this today.

Question #1: Is there a difference between being thirsty and being aggressive when pursuing a person you want? (Let me know if clarification is needed.)

Question #2: I've always envisioned myself marrying a Black man, whenever I finally chose to take that next step. However, according to last night's reinforced statistics those chances for me and my girl's who share the same beliefs are not in our favor. I know Black men date and marry outside of their race all of the time. But are there any women who are willing to date AND marry outside of their race since we're at a depletion of Black men? And brotha's chime in on any part of this convo!!!

That's all :)

Excuse Me? Am I Misreading This Thing...

This is how I feel right now. Confused...Torn...Lost...All of that. Now not in every area of my life, only in one particular area. I don't know whether to move on to another situation...or to stay here and see what pans out. But then I don't want to stay here and miss out on another opportunity just to see what happens. On the other hand, I don't wanna not see what this has to offer and just go back. I know we should live life with no fear and follow our hearts. But what if your heart is truly torn between the two. This is not to say that I'm in love, or @ least I don't think that I am, but I do care for both. I don't want to feel stupid. But I don't want to hold up my life either just to see what he's gonna say. I just don't know. One has my mind and another has my heart and I just don't know which one I want. I know that no one can give me the answers I want, I can't even give them to myself. This is just really weird...

At one point, it seemed I was good. Not that I had the key to everything, but it seemed like I was on smooth sailing, enjoying the ride. But all of a sudden a strong wind came from nowhere and got my map all wet and I can't read it anymore. North, South, East, & West aren't written in plain ol' English anymore. Any way I turn the map confuses and scares me. I don't wanna say yes to one and then feel stupid YET again. That's like sooooo 2007, lol. I really just don't know. I'm trying to listen to my heart and my mind, but I don't feel like I'm hearing anything and that's what scares me.

So I ask...what do you do when you once felt nothing from anywhere, but now your emotions are all over the place and you just feel lost?

I Spy...

First off, I haven't written for two reasons: 1) I've been working these last few days //surprising, I know\\ 2) I haven't been inspired...so why force it?! Well @ any rate, work has slowed down for a moment and I now have a few things I need to get off of my chest. So today's blog will be a little tangent of each thing that I may later expound upon individually.


Tangent #1: Everything You Do In the Dark WILL Come to Light

After recent conversations with friends and family members on a myriad of topics, a few "secrets" have been let out. Things that people have not only hidden from me, but their spouses, family members, pastors, mentees, and those of the like. Is pride that big and strong that one would rather put up a facade to make a situation seem like something it's not? Is the truth THAT painful?! I don't know...but I do know that a truthful mind and soul helps me to sleep at night. I don't know how other people do it! MY GOODNESS!


Tangent #2: Everything In Life Will NOT Be Given to Us On Silver Platters & Spoons

Even though my life may look good to some, TRUST I have had to work for the little that I do have. Though some things were born in me, I still had to work on those gifts and talents too. I didn't just up and one day end up a bomb.com mime {{if I do say so myself ;)}}, the same goes with singing, playing any sports, whatever. I was given something, and I worked with what I have. People have told me that I don't know the meaning of struggle, that I'm spoiled, and that life has always been easy. Well if that ain't far from the truth, then I don't know what is! Just because I don't sit around complaining about what has happened in my life and how I've been in a house with no lights on because we just didn't have the money, doesn't mean we haven't struggled. My struggle may not have been your struggle, but I too know the meaning of struggle. I don't apologize for having a mother who made up in HER mind to do better for herself and her children. I don't apologize if people do think I'm spoiled. Whatever. But I can tell you this, my life has been no fairy tale. Don't let what I look like now fool ya ;)

Tangent #3: Your Pride Will Always Get You In Some Type of Trouble

Now there is a HUGE difference between being prideful and confident. I'm gonna use a few definitions of each word, just so I can be clear in my point. I think anyone who has mind and can think can see the contrasting differences. But regardless if you're a Christian or not, the Psalm has a very valid point, in my personal opinion. If we are truthful and honest and hardworking and integril, why wouldn't God, the Creator, keep good things away from us. <> I just believe that we could have what we TRULY need and some of our wants too if we weren't such prideful beings at times.

Ok...enough of my ramblings! Toodaloo

And another thing!

Tangent #4: NOBODY OWES YOU NOTHING!

I-O-U NADA & NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE!

We can NOT sit around acting like people are just supposed to do stuff for us because we're ::insert your name here::. BooBoo! NO LOVE MUFFIN! NO MA'AM NO SIR! Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. If you want something, get up and get it.

Ok, that's all for real...I think

Wait 2 more minutes!

Tangent #5: It's Not Selfish To Take A Break from Some People

Have you ever people in your life that just DRAINED you?! Like O-M-G! Always complaining about something...always got something to say...stubborn...stuck in their ways?! Lawd of mercy! That's some monkey doodle foolishness! I have to step back and reevaluate a particular relationship because it's just so draining. I help those who are willing to help themselves. But I'm willing to risk my sanity, my peace of mind, joy, etc just to help other people with their problems and they're not trying to solve them.

................which leads me to tangent #6!.....................

Tangent #6: At The End of the Day, People Are Gonna Do Whatever They Wanna Do

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.

I'm done for real this time :)

Unhealthy Lifestyles: Part One--Rear View Living

Hello one & all! I hope that each of you had a great and safe holiday weekend. This post is coming close to the time I get off from work because I actually had something that I needed to complete by tomorrow!

As I was talking with some friends last week, we started talking about unhealthy habits that we all have at one point in time. These habits may include diet and exercise, but these aren't the ones that will be discussed. Every Monday during July, I will address a different issue in the series. The first one in the series is entitled, Rear View Living.







Now, the majority of us know how to drive. If we don't know how, we at least know some basic things about operating a car. A major rule that we know is that, you cannot drive while looking in the rear view mirror. Though it helps to look at the mirror every once in a while, that is not where our focus should be. If we try to drive while using that mirror, we will cause accidents, miss exits, and most importanly hurt ourselves and others. While driving, we have this big window that allows us to see what is going on immediately in front of us; whether traffic is slowing down, speeding up, at a standstill, or if we're the only one on the road.

This is often reflective of our everyday lives. We have life, this big opportunity, that allows us to experience different things, meet different people along the way, and to enjoy at racing speeds or when the speed limit is 15mph. As we are on the road of life, however, we cannot become consumed with past mistakes, upsets, or trials. We have to look at those moments through our rear view mirrors and not focus on them. Because if we focus on them, we will miss out on all of the good things, people, and opportunities we are destined to experience. In moments when life is extremely good, we should briefly look through our rear view mirrors to see how far we've come, but not to get out and park our cars there. Look out of your rear view mirror and laugh about choices you made. Or to reflect how God brought you through YET ANOTHER situation.

So regardless of what has happened in life, keep looking out of your main window so that you can see what's ahead of you. Now I'm not promising that you'll be able to see everything coming your way, but if you look out of the bigger window, you'll be better off than looking out of the rear view mirror.

Which mirror are you looking out of?

I Know That's Right!

Today I woke up in a GLORIOUS mood!!! Even though it was raining outside, I was happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not quite sure if it's because today begins the holiday and there's no work tomorrow or what. But this sister right here is good. Got in the car and did my daily iPod routine. This morning's choice was a random mix of R&B. And who got me grooving, MARY J. BLIGE! Unlike some people, I have ALWAYS been a fan MJB...since I was a tiny tot for Christ. Though I was only 6 when her first album What's the 411? was released, I thoroughly remember screaming the lyrics of "You Remind Me," "Real Love," "Love No Limit" and others. I've always appreciated her realness and rawness in her music because it always just spoke to the core of my heart. She's grown so much as a person and as an artist, and I've enjoyed experiencing it. I've been to several of her concerts and each time she leaves me speechless...like literally I lose my voice.

Anywhoo, I realized too, like Mary, I've come to a very good, solid place in my life today. Not saying that everything has always been peachy and great, but at this moment I am Just Fine! I have everything I need and that is more than a lot of people can say. I have a family that loves me, bomb.com friends that support me, but most importantly, I have self-love. I could write a lot more on this topic, but I choose to simply end with the lyrics from "Just Fine." I doubt I'll blog again until Monday. So have a great and safe holiday weekend!

"Just Fine"

You know I love music
And every time I hear something hot
It makes me wanna move
It makes me wanna have fun
But it’s something about this joint right here
This joint right here
Its makes me wanna…..Woooh

Let it go……
Can’t let this thing called love get away from you
Feel free right now, going do what you want to do
Can’t let nobody take it away, from you, from me, from we
No time for moping around, are you kidding?
And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning
It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I aint gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
Keep your head up high
In yourself, believe in you, believe in me
Having a really good time, I’m not complaining
And I’m a still wear a smile if it raining
I got to enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, I’m so glad I got mine
So I like what I see when I’m looking at me

When I’m walking past the mirror
Aint worried about you and what you gonna do
I’m a lady so I must stay classy
Got to keep it hot, keep it together
If I want to get better
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

I aint gon’ let nothing get in my way
(I ain't gone let nobody bring me down, no, no, no)
No matter what nobody has to say
(No way, no way, no way)
I ain’t gon’ let nothing get in my way
No matter what nobody has to say

Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
It’s a really good thing to say
That I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right
I ain’t gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just…..

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh

You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

It's All Making Sense Now!

I'm just gonna jump straight into it. Many of you knew that I wasn't going to be officially done with my degree until December 2008, but I planned on walking with my beloved class this May. Well, right before reading period I was informed that one could only have 8 hours that they needed to complete in order to participate in commencement. GOODNESS GRACIOUS! I'd already ordered AND paid for invitations, invited people, ordered a hoopla of stuff, pix...the whole 29 yards. But someone informed me that I could try to petition to still walk with my class. Once I was made aware of such, I got all necessary paperwork to try to make something work ((even though I needed 12 hours, but I was taking one of the classes this summer). In the midst of trying to get signatures and talking to the right people, I have my family and loved ones hanging on by a thread because they didn't know whether to go left or right either.

To make a long story short, I didn't walk. I mean, I still did Class Day because it would not have been the same with the Class of 2009. At any rate, I was heated...I didn't understand. I'd been checking off my list since January to make sure that I could walk with my class during commencement. All lights were green for me to go! And all of a sudden they were turning yellow and then completely red and I had to stop. I often questioned why it didn't work out?...I knew the "right" people...I had people petitioning on my behalf...but it still didn't work out.

Let's now fast-forward to my current life. Since then, I've reconnected with my paternal side of my family. If I would've walked in May, they would have missed out on that important accomplishment in my life. Now some people might say, "I wouldn't dare invite them to my graduation, they weren't there during my matriculation...etc etc." However, I'm mature enough to realize and admit that I wanted them to be there. Grant it, EVERYONE won't be able to attend commencement cuz we just don't get enough tickets, lol. I need about 56+ ((seriously)). But to have all sides of my family celebrating with me during Baccalaureate & other outings, will make my graduation experience even more memorable for me. So now I know that it wasn't my time to walk across that stage and it's totally ok!

It all makes sense though now! ALL OF IT! Fred Hammond has a song called, All Things Are Working. And it hit me in my throat when I heard the words because they are so true. Regardless if you're Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or what...know that God/The Creator is working all things out.

All things are working for me, even things I can't see
Your ways are so beyond me,
but You said that you would let it be for my good,
so I'll rest and just believe

Is it making more sense to you now?

What's In You, Must Come Out of You

Good afternoon to my readers (those who comment and those who read but don't comment, lol)! I know that I'm a little late in putting up today's post up. But my job decided to actually give me some work to do this morning :) @ any rate, this piece is kind of a continuation from yesterday's. After work, I called one of my Spelman sister's c/o '04 who I met my first year. She's been one of the people I've admired, confided in, drank with, etc. But she's also offered encouragement and told me things I needed to do and accept, even if I didn't want to hear it. We began talking about the blog and she was commenting me on my writing skills, maturing over time, so on and so forth. So she semi-jokingly said, "Go head lil Renita Weems!" Now if you know who Rev. Dr. Renita J. Weems is, then you know that is not a compliment that should be taken lightly. As the conversation continued, I began to tell her how I don't consider myself a writer or anything like that. I'm a dancer/singer/actress type of girl...that is my artistic ability...that is the way I express myself. In my mind, when I think of writers, I think of women and men who have written profound books, dissertations, articles, and such...I haven't done any of that. One reason I didn't want to accept that about myself or make this blog public is because I didn't want people judging my writing. But as we continued talking, I could see how I am a writer and that it is a part of me that I need to accept. We also talked about how I often read Dr. Weems' blog, but I've only commented once because I don't feel like I have anything to contribute in the midst of smart, seasoned women. But J.Dub said a statement that is very true, "I know, we ALL know that you have an opinion. You wouldn't be WhitneyBond if you didn't."

I've listened to One is the Magic # (Redux) by Jill Scott, Say by John Mayer, and Get it Together by India.Arie to help me piece together my thoughts for today & I'll like to share a few lines from each song with you.

One is the Magic #
So many times I define my pride
Through somebody else's eyes (La da da, la da)
Then I looked inside and found my own stride,
I found the lasting love for me

Say
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Get it Together
Speak words of beauty and you will be there
No matter what anybody says
What matters most is what you think of yourself

So I've said all of this to say that there is probably something that you want to do, but you're afraid to do it. Whether it is starting beginner's ballett lessons @ 25 or 45, writing a book, adapting a script, seeking membership into organizations, going back to school...whatever it is, do it because there is only one you!

Say What?

Hey yall! Welcome back from the weekend! I hope that each and everyone of you had a great and somewhat productive one...but if not, that's cool too ;)

Last night I had a good convo with a friend. He offered advice that made me think, "yea. guys prefer for women to be as blunt as possible. beating around the bush doesn't help." I find it amazing how blunt I can be in pretty much every area of my life. But when it comes to matters of those guys that I crush on, I can't seem to muster up any courage. I guess I've always had the idea in my head, that if I put forth a little effort then he would pursue me. Well that's happened all of about ONCE! Secondly, I didn't want to seem TOO aggressive. However, it's time to be that aggressive girl that goes after what she wants in every aspect of her life. Because this is the second time where the opportunity has passed me up and sitting here with that sad look upon my face like DAYUM! All of that is to say, SEIZE YOUR MOMENT WHEN YOU HAVE IT...you may never get it again.

So as I was driving to work, my boo John Mayer came on the iPod with his song, "Say." Not only did it apply to me, but I thought of all of my friends & loved ones who come to me saying, "I wish I had the guts to them I how really feel"...or "They don't know how much they've hurt me." or anything along those lines. Whether it's good or bad, whatever it is, "Say What You Need to Say!" It's really not about the other person at all, it truly is all about you. Is their something that you're holding back? Not necessarily all "negative" things. But it could something as simple as letting someone know how much they mean to you...or that you want to pursue a relationship with that person (romantically, family wise, sisterly, brotherly).

Start the week off right by getting some things off of your chest...Say what you need to say!

"Say"
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put ‘em in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead,
If you only could . . .

Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

Your Heart vs. Your Head: When Is It Time to Walk Away?

Today's subject was inspired by a recent Facebook posting of "My Top 25 songs played on my iPod" and my non-stop play India.Arie. On this person's list, she listed Sade's Is It a Crime? as number 16. Sade is so bomb.com! She sings with so much soul! MMM! Now yall know my morning routine with my iPod, well These Eyes by India.Arie struck a chord in me again! ::why does she make me think so much?!:: Anywhoo, here comes my pondering moment...Sade wants to know, "Is it a crime? Is it a crime? That I still want you. And I want you to want me too." Then India says, "These eyes never saw you leaving. This heart is in need of some healing. These arms are letting you go. That's life and that's the way the story goes."

So where does this leave one who knows what to do but their heart doesn't feel anything and can't guide them? Or what about the one who feels like Sade but the other person isn't acting right and continues to not act right? We must ask ourselves, why do I want you and want you to want me too knowing that you aren't right for me? I know you're not my only option, but I've made you my only option and can't function on my own...is that it? Or maybe I'm scared...scared of what though? Freeing myself of anger, hurt, and possibly that person? I guess I'll find out one day!

Truth is every relationship is a lesson

Truth is I saw it coming but it hurts anyway
Truth is I'm not the reason you're so angry
Truth is you're not the reason I'm so passive
Truth is I've got to take back my power

I guess the bigger question becomes, is it a crime to finally free yourself and walk away with your head and heart as one?

Have a great weekend and & see you on Monday :)

We Are A Family Like A Giant Tree Branching Out Towards the Sky...

This past weekend was my biological father's mother's side of the family reunion. Now I know who my relatives are, if I randomly saw them around the area I spoke, so forth and so on. But I never really knew them. Partially due to the lack of a relationship I had with my father. But that's an ENTIRELY 'nother blog, for a whole 'nother day. But @ any rate, as I sat @ the meet and greet Friday, I couldn't help but still feel like a stranger. Faces looked familiar, I remembered some names...but it wasn't that natural just ::what's the word...:: chemistry, familiarity. I sat downstairs and got on my phone to chat with 2 of my bff's via Gchat & text msg. I couldn't quite verbalize everything that I was experiencing so I simply stated, It's amazing how someone could still feel like a stranger around their own family.

Naturally this led me to wonder, what truly is the definition of family?! I mean, if it's what Webster's Online Dictionary defines it as, a group of persons of common ancestry, then I have a really big family. But what about those people I consider family because my blood family wasn't around because I, too, chose not to be around them? My friends, not this particular side of the family, were there when I cried...when I was hungry...when I was broke...when I was weak...when I needed encouragement...when I was happy...when I received good news.

But let's go back to the reunion this weekend. I chose to attend every event this weekend, except for the picnic (didn't want to sweat my press out, lol). And I did this because I wanted my family to be my family because of more than a bloodline we share, but because we have a relationship. As I stated in a previous blog, we have the choice to create happiness in our lives. And this choice has brought more than happiness, it has brought joy, closure, and filled voids all in a matter of days. I don't know how many of you know about the website Ning, but it is also a social network...kind of like a mix between facebook & myspace. But my family has a page on there and I joined so that I could add pix from this weekend and continue in reconnecting my family. My cousins, aunties, and uncle have all written beautiful and priceless comments on my wall and i LOVE it! Well the next day after the reunion, I received an email from my Auntie Jean, who has always been my favorite for some reason...But anywhoo, she sent me the following e-mail that brought tears to my eyes:

Hi Whitney,
It was great having you with us this week-end Whitney.  You just came in
and fitted in and rolled with us.  I loved it!  Please don't stop coming
around us. We will be having a dinner again real soon, at my house I
think.  We will let you know or keep you posted.  You've grown up to be
quite the lady and we are so proud of you.  I'm happy that you are not
going to allow the past to determine your future with your family.
Stay in touch.

Much Love, Aunt Jean

As much I claimed I wasn't gonna have anything to do with them, deep down
I yearned for them.  And as much as I secretly missed them, they missed
me too.  I'm not saying that you need to call up every family member
you haven't spoken to and forgive and move forward.  But step out and
reach out to one...the one you used to call all of the time when you
were younger...or perhaps the grandmother who used to press your hair
at her kitchen stove...or your favorite cousin who always took you
shopping & bought you things your parents wouldn't allow.  So today
I'm thankful for all the family I have, because it's not just the
bloodline it's the relationship.

Goodness, out of this one tree that is me, I have so many branches reaching out towards the sky. Some have been broken and unrepairable, while others are barely hanging on. Will you catch it and mend it before it's too late?

Is It REALLY That Random???

As I sat at my desk yesterday having just hung up with a new found friend, I pondered to myself and said, "Self?!" Myself said, "Hmm?" Why did I just recently meet her? Why didn't I meet her while we were both in school together? So naturally I began to reflect over this past year of my life. Mymy! Have I began some GREAT relationships out of random encounters! Since meeting one person in particular who is my TwinSoul, I wondered what was life really like without her. When I asked her, she responded with "I'm like a tampon. You live life fine on pads until you try a tampon and things are never the same after that." LOL! But she is so right! TwinSoul along with about 7 other people have added so much to my life, that I can't ever imagine life without them.

But in the midst of pondering the thought of these 'random encounters,' I began to wonder if they were REALLY that random? Or if it just wasn't our time to either meet or become closer sooner? I mean all of us went to school together...we hung in the exact same circle of friends...we share the same stories, but yet it didn't jump off until a few months ago.

So what do you think...are random moments really random? Or do we just have to wait for the right time and place? If you have any random moments, please share!

Because There's Hope, What Do You Choose?

Yesterday I told a friend of mine that I'd started a blog. He response was "Blogging now? sounds like another work distraction." And I responded with "I won't be doing that much talking though. Basically just posting the question of the day."...Ok, well maybe he was right.

I woke up this morning, sluggish but still in a good mood. So I got dressed, even had a lil breakfast before I left the house. Every morning when I get in the car, I pick up my iPod and look @ my playlists to choose what I'm going to listen to until I get to work. Well this morning, I chose my playlist of my top 20 india.arie songs. The first song on the playlist was "I Choose" from her CD India.Arie-Testimony, Vol. 1: Life & Relationships. So about after the 5th time of listening to the song and looking like I was having chu'ch in my car all by myself, I began to really ponder what Sista India spoke of...

"I Choose"

Because you never know where life is gonna
take youand you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 1:]
Here am I now looking at 30 and I got so much to say.
I gotta get this off of my chest, I gotta let it go today.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.(Yeah)
I pitched a fork in the road of my life and ain't nothing gonna happen unless I decide.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do. My past don't dictate who I am.

I choose. (Yeah)

[Verse 2:]

I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through.
Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes.
I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances.
But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for my joy.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do. My past don't dictate who I am.
I choose.

[Bridge:]
Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gonna do what it do. And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 3:]

From this day forward I'm going to be exactly who I am.
I don't need to change the way that I live just to get a man. (NO!)
I even had a talk with my mama and I told her the day I'm grown,"from this day
forward, every decision I make will be my own." And hey!

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be courageous in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Bridge:]

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been. But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eyVBxuB58U

So about after the 7th time of me listening to this song, I finally moved to the next one on the playlist. And it was There's Hope, also from the same CD. As this one is playing, I literally got chills...Let me explain why. The bridge and chorus of this song is what hit me:

[Chorus:]
There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh

You better thank God for that

[Bridge:]

Every time I turn on the T.V. (There's Hope)

Somebody's acting crazy (There's Hope)

If you let it, it will drive you crazy (There's Hope)

but I'm takin' back my power today (There's Hope)

Gas prices they just keep on rising (There's Hope)
The government they keep on lying but we gotta keep on surviving

Keep living our truth and do the best we can do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbAXfZXl5jQ

Listening to these words hit me in the core of my heart. We truly have the power to create our own happiness. Regardless of what has happened to us (relationships, financial struggles, abuse, eating disorders, breaking of trust, etc.) we can choose to move forward and live life in the now. Is there something holding you back from moving forward and being happy with yourself? And I'm not speaking of material things because they only provide temporary happiness, not joy. Ask yourself if there's something that you choose to drop. Because I am a living witness, this process will not happen overnight. But what are you willing to choose to work on?

I've chosen to drop some bags to make room for my joy!

There is hope...so what do you choose?

Coming Hard with the 1st Question...

When you have sex with someone you like/love vs someone you're just trying to "get it in with", how do you feel as a person? Is the sex in and of itself different? And is there a difference between just having sex and making love?

Leave Those Comments Love Muffin!