Unhealthy Lifestyles: Part One--Rear View Living

Hello one & all! I hope that each of you had a great and safe holiday weekend. This post is coming close to the time I get off from work because I actually had something that I needed to complete by tomorrow!

As I was talking with some friends last week, we started talking about unhealthy habits that we all have at one point in time. These habits may include diet and exercise, but these aren't the ones that will be discussed. Every Monday during July, I will address a different issue in the series. The first one in the series is entitled, Rear View Living.







Now, the majority of us know how to drive. If we don't know how, we at least know some basic things about operating a car. A major rule that we know is that, you cannot drive while looking in the rear view mirror. Though it helps to look at the mirror every once in a while, that is not where our focus should be. If we try to drive while using that mirror, we will cause accidents, miss exits, and most importanly hurt ourselves and others. While driving, we have this big window that allows us to see what is going on immediately in front of us; whether traffic is slowing down, speeding up, at a standstill, or if we're the only one on the road.

This is often reflective of our everyday lives. We have life, this big opportunity, that allows us to experience different things, meet different people along the way, and to enjoy at racing speeds or when the speed limit is 15mph. As we are on the road of life, however, we cannot become consumed with past mistakes, upsets, or trials. We have to look at those moments through our rear view mirrors and not focus on them. Because if we focus on them, we will miss out on all of the good things, people, and opportunities we are destined to experience. In moments when life is extremely good, we should briefly look through our rear view mirrors to see how far we've come, but not to get out and park our cars there. Look out of your rear view mirror and laugh about choices you made. Or to reflect how God brought you through YET ANOTHER situation.

So regardless of what has happened in life, keep looking out of your main window so that you can see what's ahead of you. Now I'm not promising that you'll be able to see everything coming your way, but if you look out of the bigger window, you'll be better off than looking out of the rear view mirror.

Which mirror are you looking out of?

Your Heart vs. Your Head: When Is It Time to Walk Away?

Today's subject was inspired by a recent Facebook posting of "My Top 25 songs played on my iPod" and my non-stop play India.Arie. On this person's list, she listed Sade's Is It a Crime? as number 16. Sade is so bomb.com! She sings with so much soul! MMM! Now yall know my morning routine with my iPod, well These Eyes by India.Arie struck a chord in me again! ::why does she make me think so much?!:: Anywhoo, here comes my pondering moment...Sade wants to know, "Is it a crime? Is it a crime? That I still want you. And I want you to want me too." Then India says, "These eyes never saw you leaving. This heart is in need of some healing. These arms are letting you go. That's life and that's the way the story goes."

So where does this leave one who knows what to do but their heart doesn't feel anything and can't guide them? Or what about the one who feels like Sade but the other person isn't acting right and continues to not act right? We must ask ourselves, why do I want you and want you to want me too knowing that you aren't right for me? I know you're not my only option, but I've made you my only option and can't function on my own...is that it? Or maybe I'm scared...scared of what though? Freeing myself of anger, hurt, and possibly that person? I guess I'll find out one day!

Truth is every relationship is a lesson

Truth is I saw it coming but it hurts anyway
Truth is I'm not the reason you're so angry
Truth is you're not the reason I'm so passive
Truth is I've got to take back my power

I guess the bigger question becomes, is it a crime to finally free yourself and walk away with your head and heart as one?

Have a great weekend and & see you on Monday :)

Because There's Hope, What Do You Choose?

Yesterday I told a friend of mine that I'd started a blog. He response was "Blogging now? sounds like another work distraction." And I responded with "I won't be doing that much talking though. Basically just posting the question of the day."...Ok, well maybe he was right.

I woke up this morning, sluggish but still in a good mood. So I got dressed, even had a lil breakfast before I left the house. Every morning when I get in the car, I pick up my iPod and look @ my playlists to choose what I'm going to listen to until I get to work. Well this morning, I chose my playlist of my top 20 india.arie songs. The first song on the playlist was "I Choose" from her CD India.Arie-Testimony, Vol. 1: Life & Relationships. So about after the 5th time of listening to the song and looking like I was having chu'ch in my car all by myself, I began to really ponder what Sista India spoke of...

"I Choose"

Because you never know where life is gonna
take youand you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 1:]
Here am I now looking at 30 and I got so much to say.
I gotta get this off of my chest, I gotta let it go today.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.(Yeah)
I pitched a fork in the road of my life and ain't nothing gonna happen unless I decide.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do. My past don't dictate who I am.

I choose. (Yeah)

[Verse 2:]

I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through.
Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes.
I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances.
But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for my joy.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do. My past don't dictate who I am.
I choose.

[Bridge:]
Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gonna do what it do. And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 3:]

From this day forward I'm going to be exactly who I am.
I don't need to change the way that I live just to get a man. (NO!)
I even had a talk with my mama and I told her the day I'm grown,"from this day
forward, every decision I make will be my own." And hey!

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be courageous in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Bridge:]

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been. But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eyVBxuB58U

So about after the 7th time of me listening to this song, I finally moved to the next one on the playlist. And it was There's Hope, also from the same CD. As this one is playing, I literally got chills...Let me explain why. The bridge and chorus of this song is what hit me:

[Chorus:]
There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh

You better thank God for that

[Bridge:]

Every time I turn on the T.V. (There's Hope)

Somebody's acting crazy (There's Hope)

If you let it, it will drive you crazy (There's Hope)

but I'm takin' back my power today (There's Hope)

Gas prices they just keep on rising (There's Hope)
The government they keep on lying but we gotta keep on surviving

Keep living our truth and do the best we can do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbAXfZXl5jQ

Listening to these words hit me in the core of my heart. We truly have the power to create our own happiness. Regardless of what has happened to us (relationships, financial struggles, abuse, eating disorders, breaking of trust, etc.) we can choose to move forward and live life in the now. Is there something holding you back from moving forward and being happy with yourself? And I'm not speaking of material things because they only provide temporary happiness, not joy. Ask yourself if there's something that you choose to drop. Because I am a living witness, this process will not happen overnight. But what are you willing to choose to work on?

I've chosen to drop some bags to make room for my joy!

There is hope...so what do you choose?